Did you just have one of those days where nothing seems to work and the bread fell down with the buttered side? Or where you just want to have a “quick” cup of coffee and then you drip the coffee all over your white blouse – just before that client meeting?
Then you almost start crying and you cannot even find one good argument in the client meeting why they should work with you instead of anyone else in the market. You start to babble and you know that you have lost them. Or you sit in that interview and the HR Manager tells you “We will get back to you.” and you know it will be a rejection email again.
Neuro-scientists have found out that we have different areas in our brain. When you are driven by fear your most primal part of the brain gets activated. In the “fight” or “flight” mode you won’t be able to develop good solutions to any issue you might be facing right now. Challenges and obstacles will block your mind and you might consider yourself ready for therapy.
While you are in that “the world is unfair”-mode you will not also not be able to come across as strong and professional. Whether you are looking for a new job or whether you are trying to get a promotion at your old job you won’t come across as self-confident as you have been pushed out of your inner “middle”. (In German we say “innere Mitte” and we mean the place where you are at ease with yourself and where you accept your flaws as well as your strengths).
Best is to call it a day, go home and apply this method.
1)Distract your mind with soothing music. Turn on relaxing music on your i-pod, go for a walk or a dance class before you return to your issue at hand.
2) Ask your brain an open ended question such as “How can I serve this client better than others?” It is important that the question starts with “HOW…?”.
3) Do something completely different such as housework or go to sleep.
4) Set a timer for 25 minutes and write down all solutions that come to your mind without stopping yourself or judging them.
Later you can structure your thoughts and devise an action plan. I have noticed though that the more ideas I write down the better. It does not mean that I have to implement all of them but I need to write down about 20 ideas before I come up with new ones. So don’t stop yourself too early. It’s also fun to do this exercise in a group.