Tag Archives: Coaching

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night.  Usually around 3 or 4 am. And then I am awake for two hours. And then what happens in your head? At such a time of night?

Coaching helps!
Coaching helps!

 

Exactly. You worry. You worry about anything and everything: your financial resources, the lump on your head, something that turns in your stomach. You know, you are pretty sure that you are going to die soon. In these moments I try everything: Relaxation Methods, Positive Self-Talk.

I try to talk myself out of it but usually the worry remains and I cannot go back to sleep. Often the issue is gone the morning or looks less severe once I had a shower. So now I am wondering: Maybe this is our way of dealing with fear. Maybe it is really important that we allow this fear to happen.

Think about a situation you like to worry about.

I think one way to deal with it is to write it down or tape it on your phone and then think about: “What would be an alternative way of looking at this issue?”

You are probably not going to come up with good solutions. My latest worry was about cash flow. In the morning I thought “OK. Yes, this is an annoying situation. Two of my most important clients have been delaying payments for the past three months and I had a lot of invoices to pay. I do not have extra cash in my account and my company is too small to get credit so there is a bottleneck situation. The situation is embarrassing towards the suppliers and consultants working for me who now also have to wait for their payments.”

However, I know that I have already implemented the right steps to grow. And the situation already looks sustainable for the coming month (i.e. constant inflow of cash). So giving up now would be like feeding the worry monster and let it get so big that it can actually eat you up. Giving up when you have already achieved 80% because of a future that you cannot control anyway is weak.

We do not believe enough in ourselves and let the worry monster grow into a teenager

Maybe this is one of these “female” issues. It’s an issue I see with female business owners and executives. Deep down inside we do not believe we deserve success and prosperity (or is this just because I am ridden by catholic guilt?). Deep down inside we take actions to corrupt ourselves the whole freakin’ time. We believe we still have not earned our credentials. I believe I am a fraud and that I have to sit my university math exam again (which funnily was the best exam in my whole studies). I cannot tell you how often I had the “imposture” dream and how relieved I was when I found out that this is a researched phenomenon many women seem to experience (but obviously we do not talk about it.)

Speak to the worry monster...but don't let it grow up to be an adult!
Worries can make you lose focus at work!

So sisters (and sensitive brothers) it is not too late to caress the worry monster and to give it a few cookies once in a while. You can even allow it to sleep in the same bed with you as long as it is still a child. You can nurture it and leave with it.

If your monster becomes a teenager and starts to rebel against you it might be time to change your behaviour towards it.

Here are five ways of dealing with a teenage worry monster:

1)   Join a support group of like-minded professionals and openly talk about your monster.

2)   Find a coach and work on your fear and imposture syndrome.

3)   Find a mentor who thinks you are the most talented individual in the world and let her or him help you to tackle your next goal.

4)   Practice a technique such as ZEN meditation to learn to be more in the here and now.

5)   Read the book “Now” by Eckard Tolle.

Or to say it with this beautiful song: “Don’t give up coz you have friends.”

Let us know in the comments how you speak to your monster and what it replied to you.

If you liked this post please share it with your friends, followers, tweeps, neighbours and mothers.

 

 

Here is a weekend read for you on principles of “Coaching”. The author reflects a lot of the standards we wish to adhere to in coaching. In many ways coaching goes beyond the traditional career advice that you might be getting from other consultants or mentors:
Are Great Leaders Great Coaches?

Feel free to ask me any questions that come up when you read this.

Other than that: Enjoy your weekend.

There is a lot going on:

“Halloween”
“Allerheiligen” – some cantons have a catholic holiday today
“Diwali” in India

…and “Winter is coming”. Get winter tyres (“Winterreifen”).