| Ego can be a blocker of your personal development. Nothing happens when you are passive. You can wait for your life to happen and you will never see any fundamental change. Fundamental changes only occur from within. When you encounter your dark side and confront your fears. Others say that “life starts outside of your comfort zone”. That’s not true. You need your comfort zone.
You must not jump and do a complete makeover. In my experience, little steps are a lot more helpful to build a more fulfilled and happier life. Little steps could be to focus more on what is happening in the here and now, to appreciate more what you have and to continue on your journey to make a more significant contribution to this world. A little step could be to help a staff member be more productive, support an elderly citizen with their day-to-day routines or even being a better partner.
Entitlement is the Path to the Dark Side
What makes me cringe these days is the entitlement. I wonder why we believe that we are entitled to status, prosperity, and lifestyle. Why some of us feel entitled to rule the world, exploit our planet and dominate others?
Who allows you to feel better than others? What is the underlying assumption? Who do you serve? We often do not realize how privileged we are until we meet others who are less privileged. It’s a good practice to put yourself in the shoes of another human once in a while. One you might not be able to relate to so easily: A beggar or homeless, a refugee or a maid. Here is what I have learned by now: You and I we were lucky. We were lucky that we were born to our parents, that we had access to education and that we never knew what hunger means.
If you feel a little bit ashamed now, I would like to welcome you to the club. Once in a while, I try to check on my attitude, especially when I dramatize or when I drown in a sea of self-pity. In these (now rather rare) moments when we look at everything we have not done, not achieved, not had as kids or young adults. The moments when we wish we had had more guidance from our parents, more support from our teachers and mentors, more money and more energy.
The Ego-Cave
This is the ego trying to pull you back into its cave. A hungry animal that yearns for recognition, the badge of honor, the Pulitzer-Prize, one million EUROs in the bank and a youthful look. The ego is a monster and it is dangerous.
You wonder, how you can balance it? If I understand the philosophers and psychiatrists correctly only by selfless acts. By losing yourself in acts of kindness and support without expectation, without reward. You will ask me next if then you are not exposing yourself to abuse and being used by others. I say maybe. You still have to know where your limits are. I would suggest though that small acts of kindness do have a place and need a place in our modern world.
We cannot continue to behave as if everything we need from others is a business transaction. If we do that our relationships become transactional in nature and this is not working for friendships. It’s also not working for business relationships. If we only think in quid pro quo (or in the Matcher style as Adam M. Grant would call it) we are not growing up. We remain children of our society on pocket money. We demand nourishment but we are not prepared to nourish ourselves.
What could you do?
As a first step, I would like to encourage you to log your attitude and write about situations where you may feel privileged or entitled. As a second step, you could consider volunteering for while.
Kind regards
Angie Weinberger
PS: Check out this post too: The dark force in us – From Darth Vader to Jedi
This video about C.G. Jung’s concepts is also a good addition to this post. |
