When your colleague Paul tells you he has get home at 6 pm to see his children he throws in that your boss asked for a report she needs to have on her desk at 7 AM tomorrow. You cringe and call your partner to tell him you will need another 30 minutes to finalize the report. Your stomach feels hot and red. You are angry. Your colleague manages to get away. Why does he not have a deliverable here? Why is this team effort on your shoulders now? You think you could test if the boss was serious about 7 AM but you know you won’t get away with it.
Another messed up night. Your partner will be angry too now. You strip out of your suit as soon as you get home. On nights like this after leaving the battle ground you just want to have a glass of wine and a bath. Your partner rattles with the car keys. It is his gym night. Dinner needs to be cooked, the kids want a story and your inner household monster tells you to clean up the wardrobe. At 10 pm when your partner gets home you just want to go to bed. You almost had a bottle of wine by now.
The next morning, you protect your feelings through professionalism. You meditate and go for a run to keep up a smile. You wear a mask. You put on your business persona together with your pin-striped business suit and when you ask your boss if the report was ok, she just shrugs
“I had other priorities this morning. Team meeting at 10. Will you book a room for us?”.
“Isn’t that Paul’s task?”
“Yes, but he got caught up at kindergarden and will only get here at 9.45 AM. Be a good colleague and get us some pretzels too.”
You smile your best smile and help out again. While men seem to handle office politics better, I often notice that women prefer to stay out of roles where they have to deal with conflicts all the time. If you are in a leadership role – no matter if you are male or female – you won’t stay out of the firing lines. Doing favors might be easy, but verbal and written attacks will be part of your day.
You might feel you are giving more than you should, you might even feel that some of your colleagues advance faster than you, make more money and aren’t even better at what they do than you are. The good news is: You don’t have to accept aggressive behavior at the workplace.
Five methods to reduce aggressive behavior at the workplace
1) Reduce Your Aggressive Tonality
You could be seen as aggressive by others. If you solve conflicts on your managerial level by escalating issues to the next level, this could be seen as conflict avoiding and aggressive. Maybe your intention is to highlight a flaw in the process or that the team is understaffed. Still, the effect could be different than what you intend.
You might underestimate your native language and cultural assumptions too. If you are for example a native Russian speaker you could come across as unfriendly and aggressive in English without intending it. Or if you are a native French speaker you might come across as long-winded and complicated in English. It is good to ask a native-speaker friend how they see you and what you could improve in your communication style.
2) Stop Giving Unsolicited Feedback
You might also be seen as passive aggressive as you feel the need to correct others and give them unsolicited feedback. I had a colleague who would do that. I know now, that he was just trying to help me to become more assertive but at the time it drove me crazy. The basic rule is that you only give feedback and tips if your colleagues explicitly ask you for it. If you are the boss you probably need to give advice but be sure that you tell your subordinate that. Otherwise they will feel scolded and like back in high school. Since I started a business it happened to me more than once that listeners in an audience wanted to help me “sell” my services better or gave me feedback on word plays they would not understand. I understand the intention but I would have remembered them in a different light if they had just asked me about my intentions before babbling their ideas out.
3) Become a Listener
With the current average attention span of 90 seconds your colleagues will love you if you manage to listen to them for a full length of a three minute story without interrupting. If you practice to be authentic and a compassionate listener you will be seen as a source of inspiration and wisdom. Try to understand where your colleague or manager stands at the moment, which issues they have to solve and maybe also what they are going through in their personal lives.
4) Communicate your Needs
In business conversations it is helpful to speak about your needs and expectations in the I-form. “I need quite space to be able to think…” instead of “Could you shut up please?”. Or “I expect you keep the deadline for your deliverables as you promised to help me on this report.” instead of “Once again, you have not delivered what you said you would in time.”
5) Improve your business relationships
As I mentioned several times in the “Seven Principles for Intercultural Effectiveness” improving your business relationships is the key to success in this globalized world. Work on every single relationship that is important to you and become a giver. You will be rewarded with success and long-term friendships across the globe.
Even if we have become used to it in our hierarchical work cultures we can all work towards a more appreciative communication culture. I recommend you learn about Marshall B. Rosenberg’s concept of non-violent communication and read Adam M. Grant’s book “Give and Take” too. Let me know if these five methods worked for you and what you have experienced.
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Why Building Relationships is Harder for You
Turning into a Swiss Person
I sat on a panel, and I just got as far as saying “I think…” when the other panelist gave her opinion on the matter. She probably didn’t notice that I was trying to say something, but for a moment, I was annoyed and thought, “how rude…”.
Funnily, many years ago in Germany, this would probably have been okay for me. However, I notice now how I have turned into a “Swiss person”. I also tend not to want to work with Germans who have just arrived in Switzerland because I notice in what they do too many of my own mishaps and small failures back when I was a newbie in Switzerland.
Having lived here in Zurich for over ten years now, I prefer to run my life Swiss-style. Despite considering myself open and tolerant, I still mess up intercultural communication. I’m not always understood, and sometimes I’m just wrong. I recently had a long discussion about left and right, and I know I have a weakness there. In the end, I found out that I muddled up left and right (again!).
Sometimes “Global English” also makes it worse: A bunch of non-native speakers trying to communicate in their second language can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary emotions.
Here are eight reasons that might make it harder for you to build professional relationships right now. And I don’t think that the pandemic is the main reason.
Eight Reasons
- You are shy, introverted, or not convinced that you are good enough to deserve success. Many partners suffer from the “impostor syndrome,” a psychological state of mind where people doubt their own accomplishments or consider themselves frauds just about to be exposed, especially if their career-driving partner just got another promotion in another country.
- You are embarrassed and ashamed of being “unemployed”. This is especially hard in a society where most of your self-worth is driven by your career and how busy you are.
- You come from a home culture where achievement is overly emphasized. In this cultures ascription is considered an unfair privilege while at the same time you are blindsided by the fact that you had an ascribed status in your home turf. Fons Trompenaars and Charles Hampden-Turner associated the achievement dimension with protestant work ethic and belief.
- You underestimate the cultural and value diversity in Switzerland. Even if Switzerland is the home of Zwingli and Calvin, there are catholic cantons where status, just like in the protestant cantons, is often equated with a family name, wealth, and how many generations you have already been a member of this society. So, there is still a strong ascription component that is not so obvious to outsiders. You don’t recognize that you have been in the out-group until you join the “Circle of Trust.”
- You are unaware of how you come across in person and assume that your style and behavior are “normal.” For example, you have not yet learned to read the cultural cues that hint that you might be too pushy or rude. A typical example in Switzerland is that newbies tend to overstretch a time commitment. In a society that runs on the clock and is a role model of the sequential time approach according to E.T. Hall’s time dimensions, not respecting this often creates a lot of stress for the other person.
- You are sending messages to mark your status in your home turf, such as the “Dr.” title in Germany. Or hint at your seniority by name-dropping the influential VIPs you used to hang out with. Still, this is either not understood or considered boasting, narcissistic, and merely annoying in Switzerland. (You could even exaggerate your qualifications and background, for all we know!)
- You interrupt your counterpart because you feel that they are slow. The Swiss tend to speak slower than many other Europeans, but they don’t like to be interrupted in their thought process as they are used to having a voice and being asked for their opinion on everything.
- You come from a high-context culture and you feel like you don’t know how to address a “stranger” adequately. You don’t know how to phrase your requests (your “ask”) to them, and they don’t understand you at all.
Relationship Segmentation Can Be a Barrier
Over the years of running my own business and projects, I often noticed that all the tools I tested to maintain a strategic approach to networking failed miserably with the extensive network that I’ve built over my professional life.
So, I decided to let go of “strategy” and follow my gut and memory. I realized that the best idea is not to worry too much about “contact segmentation.” We Germans love the word “Begriffsabgrenzung”, so we also do this to our social life (“Bekannter, Kollege, Freund, Verwandter, Familie, Partner, Ehepartner…”). It’s a step-by-step approach, showing how much you trust the other person.
The same segmentation exists in Switzerland, but there are “false friends”( e.g., the word “Kollege” means “Work Colleague” in High German and “Friend” in Swiss German). In Switzerland and Germany, the informal ways of addressing a person with “Du” have different meanings.
Without intercultural training, a German manager will behave like a bull in a china shop in Switzerland – completely unintentionally. Hence, working with German managers in the “honeymoon phase” is a lot of work for the trainer or coach. I prefer to work with you when you are beyond the honeymoon phase, and you understand that you might not function in Switzerland like you are used to.
A Fluid Approach
My colleagues have become friends over the years, and some of my best friends from my university days or early career are colleagues or clients now. Some of my team members have become family, and some of my family members work in the same field or closely related ones. And some friends will never pay you while others will insist on giving back. The world is colorful, and so are people.
While saying this, I don’t want to imply that you have to like everybody you work with or network with. However, it’s another atmosphere for collaboration and innovation when you can fully trust the other person, and know in your head and heart that this person would never talk badly about you behind your back and would not spill your secrets with your competitors.
Safe and collaborative environments require “relationship work.”
Let me know what you are doing today to work on your business relationships.
Which Channels To Use in Order to be a More Effective
As the world changes and goes through the transition it is important to move with it on every level, as each passing moment brings new and improved methods/practices to sustain oneself. Similarly, becoming a Global Digital Nomad requires a person to be more social, adaptive, and flexible to accommodate the learning curve. Traveling to work in various and sometimes remote locations may make you a Digital Nomad, but how to make a successful career out of it is another story. Much like any other field, it requires prior knowledge to understand the core meaning of being a digital expert. So stick around as we delve into the digital world and the key platforms you’ll want to establish yourself on, all while working as a nomad!
YouTube
Top of the digital food chain when it comes to video-based content, a vital form of media in the modern world. Although reading content and gaining knowledge from articles and such is a key component, video content adds a whole new flair to the debate. It is easier to demonstrate a topic as a coach and it is much easier to understand with the help of visual aids on the user’s end. As we’re inclined to gain knowledge in the most efficient way possible, YouTube offers a host of content creators and trainers ready to break down topics for your understanding.
YouTube receives millions of views on a daily basis and gaining small traction with your content eventually leads to a mass following. The platform allows for the users to interact with the content by Liking, Commenting, Sharing, and even disliking (Something which other platforms lack). YouTube allows monetization for channels when they reach a certain subscriber count and watch-time, making it a perfect source of passive income.
Dishing out the right content for your audience may seem daunting, especially from a business standpoint. But it is important to understand the audience is built and studied, therefore presenting the key components of Digital Marketing will always attract the people willing to gain knowledge and enhance their skill set. Style of content is completely up to you and how you wish to present yourself, people may come for the learning aspect but may stay because of your training style.
If nothing else, watching a few videos on how to establish a new channel from YouTube itself may just do the trick! That’s the versatility it offers, we are all familiar with using Google to search our queries away yet YouTube tutorials allow for a more practical learning experience.
MailChimp
Definitely a mode of media and content sharing that flows under the radar, but it is still so important that it makes the top of this list. Email communication remains one of the most direct ways for companies, brands, and professionals to communicate with their customers. There are no social platform restrictions (such as the word count on Twitter, the necessity of visuals on Instagram, and so on), so you can really experiment with your branding and hone it exactly to what works for you as a professional, or for the clients that you are representing.
Whether you’re running a retail brand or providing training or coaching services, having a planned newsletter not only gives your audience regular updates and reminders but also adds a layer of professionalism to your operations. Haphazard, untimely communication can sour the audience to your communications very quickly.
Newsletters involve sending members or subscribers news updates regarding the brand, events, and giveaways. They’re versatile and can be used to share a variety of different materials, for example, sending a link to new content on your website or an update to your services.
Newsletters in theory may seem daunting and a tedious process, however with the use of online tools such as MailChimp, it is actually a breeze! MailChimp is an automation platform as well as an email marketing service. Exactly the tool you should have under your belt! Using the platform is fairly simple as well, you can assign email recipients into groups and categories if you wish to supply niche content separately.
Thanks to the latest applications available for creating and sending newsletters, you can even analyze insight into how your email marketing is performing. This insight provides a clear understanding of what type of content is clicked more often – including the frequency of clicks and views emails are yielding.
Zoom
A relative unknown before 2020, Zoom blew up beyond their wildest imaginations at the start of the pandemic and resulting global quarantines last year. Zoom is a video conferencing software available on almost all major operating systems and capable of handling 100 users on one video call or even 1000 with the paid add-on. The benefits are plenty with the software and the user count is still growing as it is a free and simple to use service compared to the competitors who often had restrictions and limits – people being stuck inside their houses and working and socializing digitally through Zoom helped!
It’s not hyperbole to say that Zoom has in great part changed how we work remotely, with teaching, workshops, and training moving almost entirely to that platform. While large corporations and universities paid for the premium features to host large classrooms, Zoom’s free features are enough for you to establish video conferencing, meet clients online, or even conduct your services through the platform.
Zoom integrates smoothly with online calendars such as Google Calendar which is a great reminder of meetings and makes collaboration easy with the team. Please note that Zoom is my personal favorite but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have more options. If it doesn’t suit you, you can try Google Meet which is a tad bit less complicated than Zoom. Just remember to not pay hefty amounts on any video call subscription before checking a trial version first, especially when we’ve such amazing free options available.
Clubhouse
Remote Working requires you to stay connected to the world and your social network, yet maintaining the connectivity can be a hassle more times than not. Clubhouse is a new platform on the conferencing and connectivity scene but its simplicity is what makes it stand out! With the emphasis put on having quality options rather than quantity, the audio-based platform provides blazing speeds compared to the market! By keeping their focus on audio-based communication, the value of words outweigh the visuals.
Clubhouse provides a platform to manage work without being bombarded with a host of customization and saturated features that go unnoticed. It’s a complete tool, packed with the essentials so a solid one-stop shop with great performance. It’s still in beta- version and invite-based only so I would suggest you get in now before they start charging for membership.
Clubhouse provides you access to team and classic company management, the integrated API option allows for a seamless connection when needed. The company iterates on its blazing-fast performance, which is a result of removing the bulky options and optimizing the necessities. The audio calling and conferencing takes place without lag which is a common theme with most platforms, and acts as the perfect tool for not only business discussion but workshops as well as creative sessions!
Users are able to join into the main workshop and later subside into smaller group conversations or teams to work seamlessly. You’re able to visit the participants’ profiles and learn more about them, which makes the smaller group division even more practical, this exclusive feeling is similar to that of a real Clubhouse which acts as the main appeal!
The platform is built with traveling and ease of access in mind with its easy-to-use features and fast loading speeds even on the go! Creating, joining, and hosting sessions are a few easy clicks away, and Clubhouse offers a secure server with only invited members given access to the audio chat! A key addition to any Nomad’s arsenal. You can join a room based on your interests and simply listen to amazing conversations happening around the globe. If you ever decide to talk on a topic of expertise (or anything random), make sure that you get co-hosts on board so that you don’t have to carry the entire session alone. Remember it’s a conversation-based tool so try to build an audience by providing meaningful audio content in the panel discussion sort of format. If any audience member wants to join, they get an option to raise their hand and you can let them in for questions or exercises.
As a Digital Nomad adapting to new platforms and their changes is key to staying relevant, so implementing these techniques with a combination of tactical strategies and straight-up hard work might just land you on that beach in the Bahamas – once the COVID-19 pandemic is finally contained.
About the Author
Nabeha Latif is a Digital Media Consultant since the last eight years all while being a prominent influencer! Her vast experience in the digital hemisphere has cemented her as the go to Digital Guru. A major in Digital Marketing, She pushed herself onto the scene with a host of varying micro and macro projects, she is also actively involved in providing business development services related with marketing. A few key names which have grown onto new heights with Nabeha’s expertise include the likes of UNICEF Pakistan, Cesvi, Ali baba Inc, Nescafe Basement, NBC, EuroVillage.
Nabeha has worked with Global People Transitions and Angie Weinberger from the early days and is an estimated member of our team.
Despite what is happening in the world I have been keeping myself really busy. Honestly, getting stuff done gives me deep satisfaction, and having a lot of great client conversations raises my energy level to the max. So, I personally feel that I work on my mission to bring the Human Touch back into Global Mobility and my team is helping me along.
However, many of you work in corporations and don’t have the luxury that I have where I can choose how I spend my time and with whom I am talking. Many of you still feel the pressure of having a boss or someone to report to and their demands sometimes drive you crazy.
However, being “busy” is not the same as being “effective” so I wanted to share a method that has helped me over the last few years to feel a sense of accomplishment over the holidays. You probably will notice that this year the annual Christmas rush and madness will be different. Not only because we work from home a lot more.
Our common anxiety and fatigue level is a lot higher this year than in the past and working towards the year-end might even seem less stressful this year because your adrenaline has been high the whole year.
I wanted to list a few topics that I am observing in projects and coaching conversations and give you a method on how you can deal with it in a playful way. This is also an activity where you can involve your family because
“Family Success is a Team Sport”.
Perpetual Machine
What I am observing inside corporations and what increasingly frustrates me is the lack of accountability and constant waste of resources and time. It reminds me of Jean Tingeluy’s artwork “Heureka” at my favorite spot in Zurich. Often it seems that many functions and positions are just there to maintain a well-oiled machine but the value they add to the client or company they serve is minimal.
Data Squash
We also use a lot of time correcting or searching for data because the original source does not contain the data or the data is flawed. We have to rely on our brains to remember specific scenarios so we can cover all exceptional circumstances. We hire more consultants to help us administer a workflow tool that does not deliver the data we need instead of training the data entry specialist in the Philippines or in India so that the data is entered correctly. We implement three levels of controls instead of helping the first handler of the data to deliver a zero error quality report.
Process Porcelain
Do you often chase someone because they forgot to take action on an item they were supposed to deliver so you can continue your process? You might be correcting processes and mending broken process porcelain because the decision-makers do not understand the process and just run around like a headless chicken. Sometimes you might feel like a mother at work trying to collect the toys that the children left lying around all over the floor. You pick them up so that nobody trips but you are also not really noticed as you do your work quietly in the background.
Digitalization Babies
Many digital processes still are in the baby’s shoes so they often need someone to check them and make sure that they are completed. I have been in arguments with my bank because they don’t offer a draft function so that I can enter payments right when I receive the invoice and execute them later when I have enough funds in the account. My payments regularly get stuck because of cash flow issues. Then I need to build an administration around the digital process. And the funny thing is that here they always blame the customer. They hardly ever say: “This is an interesting idea and if we can help you with that we will consider it.”.
Lego Fail
The more digital you work the more you miss the link between systems. Be it through platforms or API’s. However, often you work with many different tools and providers, and then it is your responsibility to link them all and like LEGO build a castle or a spaceship from scratch. Don’t get me wrong, I like IKEA approaches too, but sometimes I wish I had a more detailed understanding of programming languages so I could focus on important deep work rather than fixing the lego fail of my collaborative networks.
We lost all of our ideals of Total Quality Management from the good old nineties. At the end of a day, we often feel exhausted but haven’t achieved anything meaningful.
What I have noticed is that I can live with certain flaws in my personal space. I can accept a less than perfect light in the bathroom but I cannot accept it in my work.
One of the reasons why my apartment almost looks the same as five years ago is that my energy goes more into my profession. Now that we are spending more time at home it has become more of a priority for me so I clean up regularly and try to keep the recycling piles low. I also have a few home improvement projects to work on.
As the paid work usually takes over and that leads to me not speaking to good friends forever, I have come up with a solution for you and me. Let me know how it works for you.
The 25 Priorities Kanban Board
In our team, we have developed a visualization method (The 25 Priorities Kanban Board) to help us prioritize work before we add tasks to Slack, Trello, and the number of G-Sheets that I use for planning.
I am a big fan of planning and consistency, so this method helps me keep track of my priorities and get stuff done.
You need
- A stack of colorful post-it notes.
- A few big pens
- A flipchart size (A1) poster or a blank wall.
Here is how it goes:
- Five Pink Post-It Notes (Work Projects)- Here, you write down your five most important work projects to complete until Mid-December.
- Five Green Post-It Notes (Home Improvement) – Write down five projects you wish to complete at home before the holidays.
- Five Yellow Post-It Notes (People) – Write down five people you wish to connect with before the year-end.
- Five Orange Post-It Notes (Love Tasks) – Write down five requests of your partner or children that you would like to fulfill until the year-end.
- Five White Post-It Notes (Self-Care) – Here, you write down five wishes that you will grant yourself before the year-end.
Homework: Send me a photo of your Kanban Board.
