The Dark Force in us – From Darth Vader to Jedi

Posted on 9 April, 202630 March, 2026 by Angie Weinberger

Yesterday, on the way to a meeting the train announced another death on the tracks. At this time of the year it happens more than at other times and even though I am used to hearing these announcements they always make me sad. Another human who suffered depression or anxiety and did not see another solution other than to end their life. Another life wasted.

During this time of the year, it’s not jolly for everyone. I was reminded that some of us aren’t lucky and privileged. Even in such a wealthy society, we have poverty, and many people get by working in restaurants, health care, and child care for less than the minimum sustenance. And we don’t often know what triggered depression in the first place.

We could all be that person.

You might be worried about losing it all and living on the streets. This existential angst comes from childhood experiences where you might not have felt safe. Maybe you had to flee or migrate to another place, maybe you suffered from neglect, maybe you had to deal with an abusive parent or relative. It’s okay to confront your fears and to work on the trauma to heal from it.

Hopefully, this post and the resources it includes will help you through the darkest time of the year. And you know how to reach me if you would like to talk. Because there is always hope, someone who listens to you, and a solution. We have to believe and reach out.

Darth Vader, the dark force in many Star Wars movies, developed anxiety and darkness from a child who lost everyone.

Did you know that we all have a bit of Darth Vader?

Our anxiety often drives us. Some leaders even move to the dark side. The Star Wars movies are full of allusions to deep psychology and how our attachments and fears form our behaviors and lives. With this post, I would like to help you understand how we are influenced by our fears and how you can change to become a Jedi.

Fritz Riemann, a profound psychologist, established a theory based on four primary forms of anxiety (“Grundformen der Angst”). These four primary forms of angst are formed in early childhood and determine to a large extent how we behave when we are grown up. In extreme cases, these fears turn into mental illnesses. For Riemann, the Sith are schizoid, depressed, obsessive, and histrionic people. You have to be aware that even though these terms have found their way into our everyday language, the clinical spectrum of these illnesses is severe and needs treatment through therapy.

Carl Gustav Jung, another deep psychologist, discovered the “shadow.” Jung assumed that our relationships with other people are based on unconscious projections of our wishes and expectations of their behavior. According to Jung, the shadow is the part of us that we have driven into the unconscious as it was unwanted (for example, behavior as a child) as opposed to our “Persona,” which was the desired (performing) part of us. Did you ever notice that you don’t like traits in another person, and later, someone told you that you have this trait too? This is probably your shadow showing. I noticed, for example, in a video, that I looked sad when nobody was watching, and probably in that moment, a memory of someone I had lost recently came into my mind. It was clearly not related to that day and that moment. Working with the shadow can be helpful in overcoming anxiety.

Eric Berne founded transactional analysis. He used three ego states (child, adult, parent) to explain human interactions in his research. He called those interactions “transactions” because every interaction has an outcome. We either get “strokes” or other “payoffs.” If you are a Jedi, you give others “strokes” and make them feel good about who they are. You are living by the assumption that every human being is good and that you are good, too. As a dark knight, on the other hand, you have had experiences that taught you that others misbehave, and you have been suppressed.

We are all Darth Vader

To speak in Star Wars terminology: You might have a bit of Darth Vader within you, even though you might be a Jedi most of the time. Like Darth Vader, we were not always bad. Some of us had adverse childhood experiences and got stuck in complex post-traumatic stress disorder. You lost trust in the world because of a traumatic experience. Our education system did not help either. We were ruled by authority, and we had to perform. You were punished if you did not have your homework back in the 70s and 80s. No one told you that you are great because you are creative or even because you are who you are.

You were taught to perform to make it in life. My parents had a different approach to education, but they also were young and idealistic, and sometimes forgot their children over the ones they took care of.

Today, when you watch TV or check an ad statement, you will often see a world full of existential angst or gold-coated “happy families.”

We are torn between a world to be afraid of and a world where everyone is on happy pills all the time. It’s like a world where the dark forces rule and where the Sith have won. Everywhere.

Could you still become a Jedi?

What if you decided that you did not want to be ruled by fear and anxiety?

What if you wanted to be a light and inspire others to stay “good” or on their mission?

What if you could be Luke Skywalker or Princess Leia Organa?

You see, the Jedis confront their fears all the time. They deal with them. They do what they are afraid to do and fight evil step-by-step. They don’t stop. They sometimes take a break to train or to collect force. They retreat to be able to focus on their mission again.

1 – Play with Your Inner Team

Before you can heal, you will probably go through dark times, and you might end up dying like Darth Vader because you cannot get over your past. Engaging with some of your voices will be helpful too. I recommend working with the “inner team”, for example, through Schulz von Thun. The inner team is a method that refers to the different “voices” one has within that influence your choices and behaviors. We recommend finding figurines (e.g., Star Wars, Barbies, Lego, or Playmobil) and giving your inner voices names per character. Please send me a picture of your inner team and their names before our next meeting. We can work with your inner voices in a coaching session.

2 – Journal like Darth Vader

I just found out today that Darth Vader kept a journal, that he had nightmares, hated meetings, and was also disappointed when the stormtroopers forgot his birthday. Vader’s diary | Wookieepedia.

“Not much time to write. I have to be up early for a meeting tomorrow. I’m sick of meetings. I just want to get out and do some evil. I haven’t been sleeping well, lots of nightmares…”

―One of Vader’s diary entries[1]

I recommend journaling to deal with self-criticism, sad memories and obsessive behavior. For me, it also helps me to note down random thoughts, dreams, and nightmares (my favorite one is showing up to work in my PJs or being on stage and not knowing what I was supposed to say). I still get anxious and usually still suffer from stage-fright before any presentation or lecture.

So, in that video, I mentioned earlier, I tricked myself. I heard on LinkedIn that turning off the self-view might help, and wow, what a difference that made for me. As an online expat coach, I have to see myself on camera all day, every day, and I am so tired of my face.

I wish I could always turn it off and return to the real world, where I did not have to show myself on camera.

However, I have also come a long way, and I know you can do that too. At some point, I decided to get over myself and started making videos on YouTube. I like them now more than when I started during the Pandemic.

3 – Confront Your Anxiety with Baby Steps

Real growth happens through taking action. Go one step out of your comfort zone at a time. Do one thing that scares you. Show yourself to the world. You start by confronting what you are afraid of. For example, you can follow a small step-by-step program to show yourself more. For instance, you could join me on the Red Couch in 2026 or already book your speaking gigs and other engagements to build and amplify your voice. Email us if you have any questions around this.

Our Instructions for the Red Couch Talks with You

4 – Work Through Your Relationships

You go into the dark tunnel and the abyss of your soul. You dive deep into the black sea of concern and unconsciousness. There, you will find the monsters, the Sith, the evil you must handle. It would be best if you worked through those with a light-saber. You tackle one relationship after another. You go through them all. All your fears, projections, shadows. I’ll stay by your side like Obi-Wan Kenobi. Cherish the people who criticize you, but don’t let their criticism stop you from what you think is right. Take their feedback as a gift to learn. Approach it with a growth mindset. Ask others for permission to guide them before you offer feedback, praise, or criticism. Apply feedback rules.

Handout 258_Giving Feedback Across Cultures

5 – Collect Force and Practice Consistency

Every Jedi needs to collect force, and in most movies, you see a phase where the Jedi retreat to train or to get better at a craft. You may also do both: retreat to collect force and practice consistency. Practice a newly learned habit or relationship-building skill. Practice giving people strokes, not only coins; let someone hug you without pulling back; accept the energy of others in your space; and sit close to an elderly person and stroke their hand. Look that homeless woman in the eye and wish her a good night at a shelter. Hold a dying person’s hand. Go to church, light candles for those who have passed away, and remember those who are still here. Meet them in person. Accept the dissonance. Stay on your path.

One day, you will look back and see only Jedi around you.

Resources

“The Global Rockstar Album: 21 Verses to Find Your Tact as an Inclusive Leader” is the basis for our coaching and how we support you in getting your voice heard and your global team on board for purpose, productivity, and performance.

The Global Rockstar Album

This self-help book is designed to assist you during the transition by addressing both practical and psychological aspects. I aim to provide valuable guidance for navigating transition challenges holistically, as if you had me as your Expat Coach.